Sentimental Sunday

When my mom, Elizabeth Jane (Keckler) Leary, passed away her personal possessions were divided among our Dad and the five living children. For those of you that knew my mother you know that she had plenty of possessions, jewelry, bathroom towel sets, kitchen towel sets, Pyrex pans, and much more. The interesting thing about all of this is that it was never used, and I don’t mean she opened her gifts and purchases, leaving them to collect dust. No, she left them in the package that they were purchased in, and if it was a gift it was not uncommon to find the original wrapping paper folded up and neatly saved so she could remember who gave her what gift.

When Mom passed I got a lot of her jewelry, most, if not all of it never worn by her and it was heartbreaking. There really was very little that Mom used that would give us a sentimental sense when holding it, or wearing it, or even using it. It was all just stuff … stuff to take up space, but much like Mom, I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of it. Sometimes I would hold it, hoping to feel some sentimental emotion, some … nostalgia of a Mom that loved all of us, but I often felt nothing more than this is her stuff, never used, and never seen by others.

My daughter, Caitlin has very few memories of Mom, because Caitlin was only about two and a half years old when Mom passed. Also, we live 800 miles from Mom and Dad, so visiting was difficult. Yet, it is she that helped me to see the value of Mom’s belongings, and it was just recently that this transformation occurred.

“Mom,” Caitlin said, “can I wear some of Grammy’s jewelry to school?”

“I don’t know, let’s go through and see what you want to wear and I will tell you if it is okay or not.” I don’t know what made me respond this way, I could have just as easily said, “sure, go for it.” Something made me hesitate; maybe it was an opening of my mind and heart to the true value of the things I had acquired.

Together we went through the bag and box of jewelry that I had and she narrowed her option down to three different necklaces. I did not approve of two of her choices, so I allowed her to wear a string of imitation pearls, and she was proud as could be to wear Grammy’s necklace. She left me sitting on my bed surrounded by “stuff” so that she could pick out the perfect outfit to go with Grammy’s necklace.

It was there, that it finally dawned on me, why I couldn’t part with Mom’s belongings, the newness of said belongings were and are very sentimental. Each piece represents Mom’s habits, the special kindness she thought of others, and her need to not waste anything. They are all a symbol of Mom’s need to have things just so, to keep a certain item, or many items intact. For all intents and purposes, Mom’s belongings hold more sentimentality that I have realized until just a couple of weeks ago. Thanks to Caitlin.